On Becoming: The Ever-Evolving Self

"Well, I don’t know what I want to be. Every day when I wake up, I want to be something different than the day before—maybe it’s to be kinder or more outgoing, maybe a little thinner, maybe more provocative. What I want to be is not defined by any particular title: lawyer, teacher, artist. What I want is to be a better person—eager to learn, choosing to grow, and determined to stay open to this process. The point is to be me the entire time, but always changing ever so slightly."

I wrote the quote above years ago, and I’m so grateful that it still holds true. Every morning, we have the opportunity to decide who we want to be and how we want to show up in the world. No matter where life takes us or what roles we step into, my hope is that our deepest intentions remain the same—to keep growing, to be a force for change, and to meet each day with an open and soft heart.

There is something deeply sacred about this ongoing transformation of the wild and wonderful self, this daily choice to be something new and more expansive while still holding onto the essence of who we are. It’s not about striving for perfection or defining ourselves by rigid identities but about staying open—to life, to possibility, to the pull of something greater moving through us.

Martha Graham said it beautifully:

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open… No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

That "blessed unrest" she describes is what keeps us moving forward. It’s the pull toward something greater, the quiet (or sometimes loud) inner knowing that says: Keep going. Keep growing. There’s more for you here. Even when we don’t have all the answers, even when things feel uncertain, we’re being invited to listen, to trust, to step forward anyway.

If you’re reading this in March of 2025, then you may be feeling this decidedly in your soul, as we are in a time of profound transformation and blooming. I want to acknowledge that this process is one that can feel pretty uncomfortable at times. If you’re feeling it, here are some of my soundest tips to handle this metamorphosis, this shift in energy — aka how to lean into your becoming:

How to Navigate an Energy Shift with Intention:

• Listen deeply—meditate, journal, or simply sit in stillness to feel what’s moving within you. If stillness isn’t your thing, use music or Hertz Frequencies to help your energy level up.

• Follow the pull – pay attention to what’s calling you, even if it doesn’t make sense yet.

• Trust the process – growth isn’t always linear, and clarity often comes after the shift, not before.

• Nurture your energy – Reiki, grounding practices, and movement can help recalibrate your system.

• Let go of what no longer fits – not everything (or everyone) is meant to come with you into your next chapter.

This transformation goes beyond personal growth. It’s a process of healing, unlearning, softening into our truth, and reclaiming the parts of ourselves we once abandoned. As Rumi suggests, “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”

Gabriel Roth speaks to this process in a way that resonates deeply:

"Each of us has the power and responsibility to heal ourselves, to be our own medicine man or woman. Awakening our innate powers of being, loving, knowing, seeing, and healing involves ongoing work at all levels and in all dimensions of our self. Exploring the range of rhythms and emotions, achieving insights into our conditioning and ego, moving through the energy levels of spirit – these are all activities to be integrated into our daily lives."

This is why we continue, why we embrace both the gentle and the uncomfortable shifts, and why we trust that even when we feel uncertain or in between versions of ourselves, something meaningful is unfolding. We are meant to grow, change, and move forward—not because we are incomplete, but because expansion is a natural part of being alive.

So, as we swim through the tides of change, I encourage you to keep the channel open, keep listening, and keep stepping into the unknown. Even if you don’t yet see where it’s leading, trust that it’s taking you somewhere important.

Reiki, Sensitivity, and the Journey Back to Myself: How Energy Work Transformed the Way I Show Up in the World

As a highly sensitive person, I’ve always been drawn to energy work. Although the label of being a HSP (Shout out to the incomparable Susan Cain!) or an empath is a bit overused these days, I must admit that those labels undoubtedly fit who I am - how I experience the world around me and shape how I’m able to show up. Anyone who leans towards the side of being highly sensitive will tell you that being this way - feeling this much - is not easy.

Growing up, I always felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. My perception of others’ pain and the injustices of the world felt crushing. God, even my own self-perception felt absolutely crushing. And so, I told myself I was too sensitive for this world. I really believed that because I felt so much, that I was at a disadvantage. Truthfully, a lot of people who came into my life said it was a weakness.

I know I’m not the only one who’s felt this way, but for so long, my patterns revolved around prioritizing others over myself. Looking back, it’s no surprise that while everyone else seemed to be swimming effortlessly, I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water.

These existential questions about my being sensitive remain mostly unanswered—even after 20 years, I still don’t have them figured out. I think the point is to find meaning in the questions themselves. But, what I do believe is that we all have a purpose, and no matter how much we try to sidestep it, our soul’s mission finds its way back to us until we’re ready to embrace it. What I have now, though, are the energetic tools to help me navigate my deep emotions, my courage in the face of grief, and my unwavering desire to protect and support the people I love.

That’s where energy work came in. I was first introduced to Reiki in my early 20s, and from the moment I learned about it, I felt an undeniable pull to go deeper. My first official step into the world of energy healing was training with the incredible Kathryn Schiff through The Den Meditation. I’ll never forget that first class, notebook, and pen in hand, fully convinced that taking meticulous notes and soaking up as much information as possible would make me the best student in the room. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Kathryn immediately told us that no notes were needed—our only job was to be present and take it all in. It was one of the most humbling moments of my life. I had to laugh at myself—my ego, my perfectionism, my constant need to "get it right" had followed me there, trying once again to control the experience.

But those classes changed everything for me. I learned how to reclaim my energy—energy I had spent my whole life giving away without a second thought. I began to shift how I showed up for others, not from a place of depletion but from a place of wholeness. I started to truly step into my own power—to see myself as the lead in my own life, rather than just a passive observer.

A year and a half after I finished my certification to become an Advanced Intuitive Healing Practitioner and Reader, I started my level I Reiki certification. Now, I’m a Reiki Master. I am so deeply moved by the practice of Reiki. It’s so beautiful, and I want to share what I know.

Lately, I’ve been getting more and more questions about Reiki—what it is, what it means to be a Reiki Master, and what to expect if you’re new to the practice. It feels like the perfect time to put my thoughts into words—not just to answer these questions, but to share the deep connection I’ve built with this energy over the years.

What Reiki Means to Me

Reiki is more than a practice; it’s a way of being. It’s an attunement to something greater than myself, a current of energy that runs beneath everything. I first came to Reiki out of curiosity, but it didn’t take long to realize that this wasn’t just a tool for healing—it was an invitation. An invitation to slow down, to listen, to trust in the unseen.

Being a Reiki Master doesn’t mean I’ve reached the end of the journey—if anything, it’s deepened my understanding that healing is never linear, and energy is always in motion. It has taught me to hold space for others without expectation, to trust in what can’t always be explained, and to recognize that the body, mind, and spirit are in constant conversation with each other.

For Those New to Reiki

If you’re stepping into Reiki for the first time, here’s what I want you to know:

• Reiki has deep roots. The word Reiki (霊気) comes from Japanese, combining Rei (universal or spiritual) and Ki (life force energy). It is a healing practice that dates back to the early 20th century, founded by Mikao Usui in Japan. Reiki is based on the idea that energy flows through all living things, and by channeling this energy, we can support balance and healing in the body, mind, and spirit.

• You don’t need to “do” anything. Reiki is not about forcing an outcome—it’s about allowing. Some people feel warmth, tingles, or emotional shifts during a session, while others simply feel deeply relaxed. There is no right or wrong way to receive.

• Energy moves in its own time. Sometimes, the effects of Reiki are immediate, but more often, they unfold subtly in the days that follow. You might notice shifts in how you respond to stress, how you sleep, or even the clarity of your thoughts.

• Healing isn’t just about fixing what’s “wrong.” Reiki doesn’t just work on physical discomfort—it can help with emotional processing, energetic blockages, and alignment with your own intuition. Sometimes, what we need most is stillness.

Reiki meets you exactly where you are, offering what you need in that moment—even if you don’t fully understand it yet.

My Favorite Tools & Practices

Here are a few things I personally integrate into my Reiki practice—both for myself and for those I work with:

• Music: Music has been the most crucial healing aid in my life. Whether it’s Hertz frequencies, my favorite singer-songwriters, or a new song that resonates deeply, music has a way of shifting energy and creating a space for healing. I often play music during sessions to help set the tone and support the flow of energy.

• Journaling: I always encourage clients to write down any thoughts, emotions, or dreams that arise after a session. Energy shifts can be subtle, and writing helps track those changes over time.

• Visualization: If you’re new to Reiki, imagine a warm golden light filling your body. This can help open you up to receiving energy in a way that feels natural. You can always visualize your energy coming back to you, and that is a game changer.

An Open Invitation

Whether you’ve been practicing energy work for years or you’re just Reiki-curious, I hope this gives you a little insight into what Reiki is and how it can meet you wherever you are. I’ll be sharing more soon—tools, reflections, and maybe even some personal experiences that have shaped my journey.

Until then, take a deep breath. Trust that you’re exactly where you need to be. And if Reiki is calling to you, know that the energy is already working in your life in ways you may not even realize yet. And as always, I’m here for any questions.

All my love,

Emilie xx

Do Not Lose Heart: We Were Made for These Times

The Trump administration has just begun, and already, the decisions around DEI initiatives, immigration and ICE policies, and LGBTQ+ rights have been both disappointing and, quite frankly, sickening to me. This week has been hard to stomach. As the waves of political and social upheaval rise, I’ve found myself turning back to a quote I’ve loved since 2015. Whenever I feel disheartened, angry, or confused, these words have served as a lighthouse in the storm:

"Do not lose heart. We were made for these times."

For those of us deeply invested in justice, compassion, and progress, the start of this administration feels like the opening of a terrifying repeat in history. The decisions being made echo the early warning signs of past atrocities, drawing unsettling parallels to what we’ve seen before. It’s bewildering and exhausting, a season that will undoubtedly test the spirit. As I sit with the discomfort and anger of these moments, I can’t help but wonder:

How do we keep going? How do we make a difference when the challenges ahead feel so overwhelming and insurmountable?

This quote—these beautiful, defiant words by Clarissa Pinkola Estés—has offered a light in the shadows. She writes,

"Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times.

The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these, to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity."

When it feels like the entire world is fraying, we must remind ourselves that we were not meant to carry it all. Instead, we are called to mend what is directly before us: to care for our communities, to hold space for those in need, and to light a path with the brilliance of our own souls.

Through my own journey of healing and navigating life’s challenges, I’ve come to focus on the importance of staying soft and living in love. It’s not always easy, especially in moments of pain or confusion. A song I love talks about this - Ben Rector’s More Like Love. These lyrics always ground me:

"I just wanna look more like love
This whole world is spinning crazy
And I can't quite keep up
It’s one thing around here that we don't have quite enough of
So I just wanna look a little more like love."

It’s natural to want to put up walls when I’m feeling hurt, scared, or confused, and I know I’m not alone in that instinct. But as I’ve gotten older, I try to lean into the pain instead of pushing it away or pretending it’s not there. I’ve found that moving through it—rather than around it—is what brings me closer to love. Staying soft has been the undercurrent of my life. My pain has made me softer, not harder, and that softness has taught me how to hold hope, even when it feels impossibly fragile.

(I wrote this on a bathroom wall in LA in 2017)

The enormity of systemic problems can lead to paralysis—an overwhelming sense that no matter what we do, it will never be enough. But as Estés reminds us, "the light of the soul throws sparks." In small, deliberate acts of love and courage, we can ignite flares of hope in the darkness. These acts don’t have to be grand. They can look like calling your friend, holding the door for someone, or lending your voice to a cause that matters to you.

Over the past several years, I’ve learned to focus not on the storm itself but on what I can do to steady the small corner of the world within my reach. I try and show up for the people I love. I lean into educating myself. I turn to creativity and self-expression to soothe my soul.

To those feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world, I offer this reminder: your light matters. Your soul matters. Stand up, show your soul, and trust that your spark, however small it may feel, contributes to a greater fire of hope and change. Together, our collective light is powerful enough to shift even the heaviest darkness.

And so, as we face what lies ahead, I leave you with this invitation: Let’s not spend our spirits dry. Let’s stay fierce, compassionate, and hopeful. Let’s lean into softness and keep looking a little more like love.

These are shadowy times, yes—but we were made for them.

Signs of Life: Finding Hope Amidst the Fires in Los Angeles

Los Angeles is my home away from home—a magical and surreal city where I embarked on a journey in search of “more.” I've always been a seeker, yearning for something beyond the visible and tangible. This quote by Anaïs Nin feels like it could be my epitaph: “I'm restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again.”

I felt a call to head out West and finally found the courage to move across the country in 2014. What I discovered in LA is beyond words—it’s a feeling, a heart space, that I will be forever grateful for. I found pieces of myself, but I also found some of that “more” I was so desperately seeking. I found friends who became family, and I experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows I never imagined possible.

(True story: there was a long period of time when I couldn’t afford to replace a tire on my car with a hole in it. So, I bought an air pump and pumped up my tire every morning before work, praying it wouldn’t blow on my commute.)

I found moments of peace from everything I thought I needed to escape. I learned that running away didn’t make me hate myself any less when I looked in the mirror. I found what true solitude feels like and discovered gratitude for my own company. I learned to stop chasing after men who would never love me. I realized I’m braver than I ever gave myself credit for. I learned, painfully, that cancer fucking sucks, and in the wake of grief, I found a depth of meaning I never knew existed.

Most importantly, I found that no matter how far away I am from my family—Mom, Dad, Chris, and Caroline—they are my reason for getting up every morning. They are what my heart looks like.

This heart of mine aches deeply for California—for my family and friends in LA, for the communities, landscapes, pets, and wildlife facing the vast devastation of the recent fires. The City of Angels, a place bursting with life, love, and dreams, has been shaken by forces far beyond our control. Yet, even in the midst of destruction, I hold onto the reminder that signs of life are all around us—sometimes quiet, sometimes roaring, but always there.

One of my favorite artists, Foy Vance, has a song called Signs of Life. It reminds me of this truth:

"All through the ages, we die, we're born
It matters not how far we run, we all return to form.
See, you and I, we started out from nothing, now we're here."

This song speaks to the cycles of life—the destruction and rebirth that weave through our collective and personal journeys. It’s a reminder to trust your inner knowing, that amidst the smoke and ash, hope endures. Signs of resilience are everywhere: in the bravery of first responders, the unwavering support neighbors give one another, and even in the smallest green shoots that will inevitably emerge once the flames subside.

In times like these, it’s natural to feel helpless, but I believe there is always something we can do to offer solace, connection, and light. For me, Reiki, with its grounding energy and focus on collective healing, feels like a small yet meaningful way to help.

I will be holding a Community Reiki Session on Sunday 1/26 at 10am PST / 1pm EST, with all proceeds donated to Los Angeles Fire Department Foundation and The World Central Kitchen. I invite you to join me in creating a ripple of healing and support.

Let us not forget:

"Spark like a fire, lick like a flame…
Don't ever lie there, don't be afraid to cry
There's no need to even wonder why
It's just you becoming and the passing of time."

The fires remind us of our fragility but also of our resilience. We endure, we rebuild, and we rediscover the beauty of life. My heart is with Los Angeles—those fighting, those grieving, and those finding signs of life in the midst of despair.

May we all trust in our inner knowing and return to form, together.

All my love,
Emilie 

Gratitude, Reflection & Community: Embracing the Season Together

Friends - Happy November ✨

As we enter this season of reflection and giving thanks, I want to take a moment to honor each of you for being here, right where you are, in this season of your life. This past year has been my first full year in business, and I am endlessly thankful for the support and kindness you’ve shown me along the way. It’s truly a privilege to share space and energy with you, to be a part of your journey, and to welcome you into mine.

Many changes have marked these past 10 months, and I feel deeply that every step you’ve taken and every moment you’ve experienced has been woven together with purpose. If you joined Community Reiki this past week, then you know that this quote from Hafiz has stayed with me lately:

"This place where you are now

God circled on a map for you.

Wherever your eyes and arms and heart can move
against the earth and sky,
the Beloved has bowed there –

Our Beloved has bowed there

knowing you were coming."

These words remind me that, even amid uncertainties and through times of deep reflection, there is a sacredness in exactly where we stand. You are precisely where you’re meant to be, and all you’ve done is enough. As we enter November, a season of gratitude, may you find grace in all you’ve achieved, love in all you do, and a deep appreciation for the person you are becoming.

Thank you for being here—I am so honored to walk this path with each of you. You are, and always have been, enough.

All my love,

Emilie

Fall Renewal

Friends - Happy September ✨

"I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again."

I saw this quote a few weeks ago, and it hit me hard. Reading it was like looking in the mirror. Summer has never been my season—it's the time of year when I feel most energetically depleted. This summer was no exception, and these past few months were filled to the brim with so much change and some hard-hitting lessons (many of which I was initially resisting). I made the call early on in the spring to take some time off from Reiki to go into an energetic hibernation of sorts.

Although I know many of us are still feeling the intense blaze of the thermostat, the air will soon be cooler and crisper, and with it comes a deep sense of restoration. There’s something blowing in the wind right now—a spark of some mysterious force that’s clearing out some very old energy (I’m talking years old) and making a whole lot of space for newness and reinvention. Personally, I’m feeling the call to step back into the work that lights me up.

That’s why I’m excited to share that Community Reiki is officially back and taking on a new shape! Starting on Wednesday, October 2nd, I’ll be offering weekly drop-in Reiki sessions every Wednesday at 5:30 PST / 8:30 EST for $5 each. These sessions are open to anyone who feels called to join, whether you’re new to Reiki or a seasoned energy traveler. Let’s hold space together and recharge as we navigate this beautiful shift into fall.

I can't wait to reconnect with you, and I’m really looking forward to diving back into these healing spaces together.

As always, I’m sending you all the love and all the light ✨

xo, Emilie

Happy New Year • February Community Reiki

Friends - Happy 2024 ✨

If you’re in tune with the energies that be, you might be feeling a shift in the air. I know I’ve been feeling it.

So far this month, each day has brought its own unique surprise emotions and experiences. A world within themselves. It’s looked something like this:

Reliving long-forgotten memories just as I’m about to fall asleep, experiencing moments of profound vulnerability as friendships grow deeper, revisiting old love notes and relationships, and then longing for the past, feeling pure awe and faith in the Universe as one of my nearest + dearest lives out her dream in becoming a mother, seeing the age upon my face and simultaneously hating it and loving it all in the same breath, missing my friend Priscilla who passed away - so much that my heart feels split in two (and wondering why it’s me who has the good fortune to still be here, as I waste precious time worrying about the face and body I see in the mirror). And, finally, it looks like a lot of discovery in a short amount of time. It’s discovering that fundamentally, we’re all much more capable than we’ll ever give ourselves credit for and that it’s okay if ancient, buried wounds still hurt intensely many years later.

I have a hunch that this month, we can find strength in numbers. Energetically, we’re all on the same journey right now - it’s like our emotional lives are in overdrive. Something is in the air, and intuitively, it feels like the time to rid ourselves of all that no longer serves us is now. I feel it happening quickly and intensely—that it’s surfacing in order to create much-needed space in our lives for something new.

It reminds me of my favorite Rumi poem, “The Guest House.”

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Looking forward to what’s ahead, my next Community Reiki Session will be Sunday, 2/4. I’m really excited for this one.

I held my first Community Reiki Session in December, which was a profound experience for me. I hope to be able to hold at least one Community Session each month. In doing so, my goal is to create a space where energy work is available to everyone. While I charge for my private sessions, I never want income or circumstance to limit anyone from being able to experience and receive energy work.

My dream is that these community sessions will grow to create an actual community where we can come together to create and hold space for each other in real time.

In the meantime, I’m sending you all the love and all the light ✨

xo, Emilie

December 2023 · Welcome + Community Reiki Sessions

Friends - Happy December!

I’m so happy you’re here! With this being my first newsletter, I’ve deliberated about the best way to begin. While there is much I hope to share, right now, the best way to begin is to say that I’m going to start in the middle. Starting in the middle was something I first heard as a teenager. It was part of a lyric in a song: “Do you ever get the feeling that we started in the middle?”

At the time, it blew me away because the question in and of itself felt pretty abstract to me. All of my experiences up until that point had mostly been beginnings. Regardless, I instinctively loved the lyric and marked it as “important” in my mind.

Almost 20 years have passed since then, and I’ve realized that starting in the middle can provide some real advantages when establishing human connection and maybe, can even help create an initial shorthand that serves us well later on. While beginnings can be wonderful in their own right, to me, it’s in the middle where the real magic happens. The middle offers a vantage point like no other. It’s from this magical middle, that as I’m writing this, I can see behind me and find that my life has always been leading me to this place — I’m a Reiki Master and Intuitive Healing Practitioner.

I’m so grateful for all of the support I’ve received along the way, and I am so excited for what’s to come.

Below, you can find info on the Community Reiki Sessions I’m holding on Sunday 12/17 and Saturday 12/30. Both sessions are free and open to all ✨

I’m sending you all the love and all the light.

xo, Emilie